I want to make a zoo with you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize