You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
