worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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