you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
