I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
