Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
