i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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