This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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