If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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