I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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