At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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