Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
