Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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