I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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