All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
