i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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