vagina is talking i cant
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
