Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
