Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
