I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
