just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I checked into jail on foursquare
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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