STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
