I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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