Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
