well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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