I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
