Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
