Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
