i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize