I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
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He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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