He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize