God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you had me at cake vodka
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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