I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
