The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I believe in your delicious
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
