Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you will always have a special place in my vag
Found the puke drawer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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