Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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