Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found your dick twin last night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
