does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
