why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
