cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
