I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
