no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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