Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
