WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
