I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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