How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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