Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
