would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
