..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
