He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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