i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
