Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
