Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize