So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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