Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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