I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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